Talk Her Into Bed (Part 1)
A major new study by the Department of Psychology at the University of Texas shows women and men click when they talk in similar styles. So all you need to do to get lucky tonight is choose your words carefully…
ACCOMMODATE HER DESIRES
SHE SAYS “It’s a pleasure to meet you”
YOU SAY “It’s lovely to meet you, too. Can I get you a drink?”
WHY? If she greets you formally (as above), you’ll need to speak in a more formal way too, regardless of how you normally converse. You’re applying what linguists call ‘accommodation theory’. “This grows from the sociological principle of ‘similarity attraction’,” says linguist Dr Erez Levon from the University of London. “If you seem more similar to people you like, they will like you back.” In terms of first impressions, you’re talking a good game, and are likelier to score…
READ BETWEEN THE LINES
SHE SAYS “I tried this amazing red wine –I can’t remember what it was called - in Italy last year”
YOU SAY “Whereabouts in Italy did you go?”
WHY? What she really wants to talk about is her trip to Italy – so ask her. “One of the biggest causes of miscommunication is the divergence between ‘literal’ and ‘inferential’ communication,” says behaviourist Emma James, a behavioural management consultant. “Men tend to be literal communicators. Women are more inferential. In this example, she wants to show off that she’s travelled, so push the conversation in that direction. She doesn’t actually want you to help her remember the name of the wine.” Although ordering a bottle wouldn’t do any harm…
GET PERSONAL
SHE SAYS “He said he’d bring the menu over in a few minutes”
YOU SAY “Great, looks like he’s on top of things: we’re in safe hands”
WHY? “When couples use the same function words, particularly personal pronouns and prepositions (he, he’d, in, on), they’re more likely to be compatible,” says Dr James Pennebaker, chair of psychology at Texas University. The key is in the brain’s Broca’s area, where mirror neurons (cells that enable us to mirror emotions) are densest. This area also processes function words. Get in tune with her Broca’s area and you’re more likely to get tuned into her other ‘areas’…
Image from Stockexchange
If you liked this article, you’ll love these:
- Things she says
- The voice of sex
- Your guide to talking dirty