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Filthy, Sexy Presents

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You’re on a spider. Your girlfriend is the long-limbed she-spider across the lawn. You want sex, so you drop a fly on her web. It’s admittedly a small fly (you were a little lazy), so she finishes eating it before you two finish your crazy spider love. Big mistake. Unsatisfied, she has but one option: to eat you.

“Even in the animal kingdom, males have to offer copulatory gifts,” says Victoria Wilson, author of The 30-Day Sex Solution. “For women, gifts symbolise attention, affection, appreciation— basically, your feelings for her.” Which means if you offer up an undersized fly—that generic perfume, a vacuum cleaner—she’ll feel perfectly entitled to eat you alive.

We sympathise. “Women are intuitive, so they expect men to be able to read their minds, ” Wilson says. But you’re no more a mind reader than a web spinner, so we surveyed 833 women and consulted top sexperts to find enough sexy gift ideas to see you through the year.

 

Comfy panties

Think outside the thong. “My husband buys me every kind of underwear, from the ones I sleep in to boy shorts. It’s thoughtful and sexy,” says Playboy cover model Kendra Wilkinson. Steal this move: “It shows that you like the sexy vixen and the woman you cuddle up to at night,” says Debby Herbenick PhD, a Men’s Health sex adviser. Try La Senza Cotton Panties (5 for RM89).

 

Bowcuffs

Metal handcuffs are scary; furry cuffs are trashy. Patent-leather Bowcuffs are classy and cute. “There’s a sexiness to feeling your skin rub against leather, versus cold, hard metal,” says Tristan Taormino, author of The Big Book of Sex Toys. “After she’s tied up, tease her and build up tension,” she says.

 

A massage — from you

To truly pamper her, sign yourself up for a massage class. “Men tend to give up after 5 minutes,” says Helen Hodgson, a licensed massage therapist in Los Angeles. “But if you learn how to leverage your body, your hands won’t tire.” Make the experience sexier with The Body Shop Sensual Massage Oil (RM52), which helps stimulate bloodflow.

 

Role-playing sex cards

“Role playing can be fun, but people may feel awkward wearing outfits,” Herbenick says. Role-playing cards let you focus on action, which takes the pressure off. We like The Fantasy Sex Deck. The cards outline a setting (a laundry, say), a prop (washing machine), a hot plot (hook-up with a stranger), and a sex tip involving the prop.

 

Adult mad libs

Sexual self-disclosure (that is, talking about your likes and dislikes in the sack) leads to greater sexual satisfaction for both parties, according to a study in the Journal of Sex Research. If she’s shy about sharing her libidinous thoughts, give her give her Adult Mad Libs. These silly, sexy icebreakers can help tee up the pillow talk.

 

 

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Image from Inmagine

 

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